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In that way, it’s like true love: at first you fall for the person because of this thing or that. There is a shopping list of reasons— he has an interesting job; he smiles like Tom Cruise; he is dapper like Cary Grant; he can teach you how to drive stick without losing his patience; when he looks at you, it’s like the world has stopped. But once you’re in love, you can’t remember how it got started or why: you are in love, you are lost in the person and the relationship, the relationship is its own reason.
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And when you break up, once again, you are back to the list. You are looking for someone with that same interesting job, someone who smiles like Tom Cruise, someone with Cary Grant’s dash, someone who is calm about teaching you to drive in the Target parking lot, someone who makes the world stop every time he looks at you. And it’s ridiculous, because no one else will ever have those exact qualities again. The next person you fall for will have a whole other roster of wonders— he’ll have eyes like Paul Newman’s, he’ll serenade you with his guitar, he’ll cook wonderful coq au vin, he’ll kiss you and you’ll see fireworks, or whatever— and you will realize those individual pieces that make you fall in love don’t matter at all. It’s the whole thing, it’s the entire feeling, it’s the big fat love in your heart— that’s what does it.- Elizabeth Wurtzel (via thechocolatebrigade)
thechocolatebrigade
